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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bowl full of leaves and epileptics? Seizure Salad."

"What do two gay guys have for breakfast? AIDS and bacon."

"A fifth Fast and Furious movie? Let me suggest: Fa5t and Furiou5. That's a free one, Hollywood."

"Why did the carpenter join the army? Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant"

"What do you call a slutty telescope? A horoscope."

"There is only one sport in which I can get a high score. It's golf."

"He leans in, looks into my eyes, and lowers the lights. I go in for the kiss. And now I'm being escorted out of the opticians."

"I have a great story to tell u. ""Why don't u just go write a book"" Wow, that's- ""Don't u dare say it-"" a novel idea. ""I'm moving out"""

"TIFU by paying $7.99 a month to Hulu Plus instead of Netflix... Whoops, wrong sub."

"All-Girls High School ""The number one most commonly used phrase in any all-girls high school is 'behind my back!' The second most common is 'right to my face!'"" - Celia Pacquola"