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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs Hawking"
Next Joke
"Based on the Scotland vote results... It looks like the UK didn't get off Scot-free."
"George Bush is a pretty handsome man I would rate him 9/11"
"gettin prety good at makin baloon animals, so far i can make: - a snake - worm - eel - dog, hot - 2 snakes"
"What kind of room doesn't have any doors/windows inside? A mushroom."
"Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos .."
"Jesus walks into a bar No he didn't, because he isn't real."
"[Plane starts to go down] *Frantically shoves an entire bag of Life Savers GummiesTM into my mouth*"
"I spent two hours child-proofing my home. They still got in."
"Studies have shown there is a direct correlation between a woman's insecurity and the amount of selfies she posts each day."