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Joke of the Day

"I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs."

"You, my friend, deserve a high-five...that's four more fingers than I normally give."

"I asked my friend with an extra chromosome if he wanted to hang out... He said he was down"

"[train station] Man: hey you. Woman: Hi. M: i'm Christian. W: That's a pickup line? *rolls eyes, walks away M: ugh. i hate my name."

"All serial killers... Drinks water..."

"What did the reddit user say to the CEO of reddit Ellen Pao [This Post was Removed]"

"I call bullshit, airport baby changing station! I wanted an Asian baby but I'm stuck with the white kid I flew in with."

"If there's 'Extra Virgin' olive oil, there has to be a 'Dirty Slut' variety as well"

"Why was 10 afraid of 7? Because 7 (eight) 9"

"What does a brick and your mom have in common? They are both flat-chested and laid by Mexicans. Source: My old middle school."