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Joke of the Day

"So a cannibal passes a priest in the woods."

"Q: Why do marble statues look so mean? A: They have hearts of stone."

"*On date* Her: hey, how are you? Me: yeah really g.. BRAIN: *interrupting* TELL HER THAT RAP ABOUT ANTS YOU MADE UP ON THE WAY HERE."

"Why can't lions ever conquer the world? Because the pride comes before the fall."

"Why do Welsh farmers .... Why do Welsh farmers tend to have sex with sheep on the edge of a cliff? So the sheep will push back"

"cremation vs burial During a tunisian funeral , a buddhist tourist asked a man . -why don't you burn the body ? - we just buried the body because God will burn him down"

"Why do you stop at a stop sign? Just because it says to? What if it said ""Eat 54 chicken nuggets and do a cartwheel""? Would you do that too?"

"Did you hear about the insomniac car-enthusiast conspiracy theorist? He stayed up all night debating whether Porsche did 911."

"My girlfriend told me that she's sick of me pretending I'm a cat Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a cat. I packed your bags. I want you to go."" Me: ""Wait, are you kicking MEEEOOWWT???"""

"Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma go to a bar. They both had a great time."