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Joke of the Day
"Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead."
Next Joke
"What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? The head nurse."
"What do you call a haughty criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."
"My friend is so stupid he thinks that an autograph is a chart showing sales figures for cars."
"What's the worst thing you can hear when your giving Willie Nelson a blowjob? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""
"Nice 35 yr. old unlit candle, every grandma in the world."
"If the liquor store didn't want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window."
"I got a letter from the bank saying I was still in debt. I don't know why, I sent them a cheque."
"TERRIBLE INVENTION PITCH: decaf Red Bull"
"What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants? ""ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"""