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Joke of the Day

"Using Romeo & Juliet to express how inlove you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is."

"What is the difference between an elephant and a flea? An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants !"

"My 5 yo after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: ""can you squeeze Capri Suns outta those things or just milk?"""

"I'm waiting for the next generation iPad to come out. Y'know, one more compact, about the size of my iPhone. Wait."

"Bill Cosby used to be my rolemodel... Until i found out he was a comedian."

"What's the difference between sod and a fat chick? Nothing, sooner or later they will both be laid by a Mexican"

"What do you call an armadillo at a fashion show? A roll model"

"LPT: Laminate your index cards when studying. Not only does it prevent smearing, but the teardrops actually roll right off."

"Student: Could I be trouble for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I didn't do my homework."

"I've heard seven cancer jokes today... If I hear tumor, it's gonna benign."