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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people in the world. Those that pee in the shower.... And dirty, dirty liars."

"What is it called when two birds kiss? A Peck."

"Blood's thicker than water, so remember to pull back on the flour a bit when you substitute it into your baking."

"People who bend down to pick up a thread instead of running over it with the vacuum 37 times, what's it like to exercise?"

"WHAT'S BETTER THAN A ROADMAN!!!!!!??? A ROADMAP!!!"

"Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status..."

"My girlfriend thinks I'm cheating on her. But I keep telling her 'I'm not going to leave my wife'"

"I really like some metamorphic rocks... They're the schist!"

"What kind of triangle jokes can never be made right? Ones with an obtuse angle."

"Why did the fly eat all of the butter? He wanted to become a butterfly!"