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Joke of the Day

"[Ventriloquist Mafia] ""Oh we have ways of making people talk."""

"A cow walks into a bar n."

"FALLOUT 5 RELEASED TODAY No need for the VR, updates will come these next weeks provided by trump"

"It's my birthday today and, as a special treat, my wife has said I can have anything I want tonight. Her arse will be red raw tomorrow. Curry for dinner."

"I bought some drugs from a shoe dealer They were unlaced, and I still got high as heel..."

"I've Noticed Bernie Sanders is Wearing a Ballcap Now at his Rallies. If he wants to invigorate his base shouldn't he be wearing a trilby?"

"Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!"

"So I released a new cook book in the oriental side of town. It's called *101 ways to wok your dog*"

"I'm pretty bad at apologising.. So I just say... ""unfuck you""."

"I swallowed two pieces of string and when I went to the bathroom they came out tied together. I shit you knot."