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Joke of the Day

"Old lady says to his hubby... ""My nipples are as hot today as they was 50 years ago"" Hubby replies,""Oughtta be. One's in your coffee the other's in your porridge."""

"I'm getting mighty fed up with these sheep-human hybrids! What is with ewe people!?"

"the most American thing I've done today is pay $5 for a pre-sliced apple"

"How many frat brahs does it take to screw in a light bulb? None- it's already lit, fam"

"How did the Jewish terrorist die? Hebrew up."

"All things in moderation. Unless no one's looking."

"""Hi, I'm Garfield, a cat who hates Mondays. But I'm here to tell you that there's nothing lasagna' about global warming."""

"A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the ""b"" is silent."

"I'm 97% sure President Reagan would be riding a horse through the Middle East right now punching terrorists in the face."

"Girl, you're like my iPhone... I just wanna tap you the night away, without any regards of time."