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Joke of the Day

"Old lady says to his hubby... ""My nipples are as hot today as they was 50 years ago"" Hubby replies,""Oughtta be. One's in your coffee the other's in your porridge."""

"Child actors cry so realistically because their parents have given them a bottomless well of sadness to draw from. And... ACTION!"

"What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale."

"I regularly have gold plaques and 1st place ribbons made up for my liver so it knows just how much I appreciate all it's hard work."

"2016: ""Yeah right, Trump isn't going to get elected."" 2017: ""Yeah right, Trump isn't going to put that policy into place."" 2018: ""Might as well tune into the Hunger Games tonight..."""

"What does an Australian witch ride on? A broomerang!"

"What's purple and chained to my front porch? That's my nigger and I'll paint him whatever color I want!"

"I like my women like I like my Little Caesar's pizza- Hot & Ready."

"Why did the Mexican lorry driver lose his job? He ate his tacho."

"How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly? The meth head still has teeth."