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Joke of the Day

"My stepson and his friend are driving around in my car. If he wrecks it, I have insurance. If he plays Nickelback in it, I'll murder him."

"What language does a patio speak? Porch-uguese"

"For my next party trick I'll swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they'll come out of my ass tied together.... I shit you knot"

"There's two things I hate in this world Racism, and the French"

"Is that a pineapple in your pocket, or are you just....Why do you have a pineapple in your pocket?"

"My friend lives on a court with a sign, ""No outlet."" I wonder where he plugs in his TV?"

"In the very first line of the song, Pitbull claims he works very hard. He then rhymes ""Kodak"" with ""Kodak."""

"Relationship status table for one but drinks for two."

"You called me ""muffin""....did you mean blueberry or chocolate chip?"

"I have a bunch of sheep puns....... But they're, pretty Baa^aaaaa^aaaaa^aad."