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Joke of the Day

"I'm holding a latte and a scone while I break into this Audi so people think it's mine and I've locked my keys in it."

"A hobo and a goat are hiking up a small mountain. Who is the hill-billy?"

"Why is this wet? Just one of the fun games you get to play as a parent."

"What happens when you give Viagra to a politician? He gets taller"

"My cousin couldn't pay the church for her exorcism So they repossessed her."

"Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"What is white and streaks across the sky at blinding speeds? The coming of the lord"

"Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya."

"I'm giving up negativity for lent. We'll see how long that lasts. Edit: aware it should be pessimism. This is a serious quote from a friend who didn't realise what she'd said."

"Why does Barack Obama eat bananas? Because they are popular, inexpensive, and a good source of potassium."