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Joke of the Day

"Two guys were competing to see who could masturbate into menswear the fastest... in the end it didn't matter, they both came in a tie."

"I hope Death is a man. That way it will come quickly and be over before I know it."

"I bet all the other glues are really jealous of Super Glue."

"Why can't the Tyrannosaurus Rex clap? Because they're dead"

"Posting a Joke on reddit is like going to a bar... You see the same shit repeated every week, but you can't stop from yourself from going there."

"I love 12 year old porn. If you ask me, 2003 was just the golden age of porn with the best and sexiest adult actors of our generation."

"I'm worried that if I give up smoking I'll replace it with murdering."

"This is serious as a heart attack but not one of those funny heart attacks. Those make me laugh."

"So I was in my house masturbating... and my sister comes up to me all indignant like. She asks me what the hell is wrong with me. I reply that she should knock before coming into her room."

"A good will gesture . . . A friendly chap from a local charity asked for a donation towards restoring the community swimming pool today. . . I gave him a bottle of water."