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Joke of the Day

"The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it."

"Pizza delivery boy . . . What does a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it!"

"classical music sounds really fancy and proper for something composed by guys who threw a bucket of their turds out the window every morning"

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected."

"Are you on a date with me or with your phone? Just make sure that phone pays your share of this bill by the end of the night."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a ships wheel down the front of his pants. The bartender says, ""Hey mate, what's with the wheel?"" The pirate responds, ""Arg, it's driving me nuts!"""

"What do you get if you cross history and a cow? A moo-suem."

"Sorry I broke your arm when your reached for that last slice of pizza. -Flirting is hard."

"Didn't realize how bad it had gotten... The officiating in the NBA is so bad that at the end of last night's Knicks/Heat game the Lakers were declared the winner by 20 points."

"What goes ""quick, quick""? Duck in a hurry. (c) beatattitude 2014"