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Joke of the Day

"A guy asks imam at a mosque Guy: What's the Wi-Fi password? Imam: allahis12345"

"I think I ate too much salmon over Christmas I just tried to run up an escalator that was going down."

"(Amazingly, an original joke!) Where will they put Deadmau5 when he dies? In a Mau5oleum!"

"What is the difference between Santa and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney."

"Camper: There's a leak over my bunk! Counselor: Shh! Don't make such a fuss. Soon everyone will want one."

"I've slept with a series of triplets i called it a waltz"

"I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect... ...but they fried me for no raisin."

"What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it the day after your divorce comes through."

"Dis'se I've contracted a disease."

"The kids at school used to call my mum the village bike She wasn't promiscuous; when I was six years old she went missing and they found her in the canal. (Mat Ewins)"