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Joke of the Day

"You really dropped the ball today Ted. You're fired. ""Please, no. I can try harder."" You operate a wrecking crane, man. People died."

"So she texts: Do you want to see something exiting? Me: Yes, of course! Anddd she left the chat."

"Barney Stinson ask god ""God,why do you make woman so beautiful?"" ""So you'll love her"" God reply. ""Then why do you make them so dumb?"" ""So they'll love you"", *Ba dum tss*"

"Him: Can you forgive me? *mental montage of me trying to figure out who this guy is* Me: Yes, but I'm really hurt so please give me time."

"What if im actually attractive and hot girls just think im out of their league?"

"What's the problem with an invisible penis? You never see it coming."

"Why Do Elephants Have Big Ears? Because Noddy won't pay the ransom!"

"They're not gym clothes if you don't go to the gym, they're pajamas."

"What's the difference between mass and weight? Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics. (From a poster on the ceiling in my dentists office)"

"Why did Hitler suicide? He got the gas bill"