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Joke of the Day

"Nuts nsfw What's nuts on the wall? Walnut What's nuts on a chest? Chestnut What's nuts on your chin? MY DICK IN YOUR MOUTH"

"Canadian bird watching is pretty depressing... It's hard to see these birds all aloon."

"What is ""attempted theft"" exactly? I mean it's not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for ""attempted plagiarism"""

"A woman once said she recognized me from the vegetarian club But I'd never met herbivore."

"Children are our greatest natural resource. I pray it doesn't come to that. --heard it on the radio, can't remember the comedian's name."

"""WTF IS THIS?!?!"" dad demands as he looks at my report card. I explain to him the idea of schooling and grading systems and he calms down."

"How to begin a TIFU post This wasn't today..."

"I use green hand soap because I like to imagine I just jerked off a leprechaun"

"First date with a hummingbird: You're moving too fast."

"My mate tried some Walkers mystery flavour crisps last night and swore they tasted like his wife's pussy, He thought it was his imagination but everyone in the pub said he was right!"