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Joke of the Day
"What is the hardest part about sleeping with twenty one year olds? There is twenty of them"
Next Joke
"When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?"
"I want to die peacefully, like my grandfather Not screaming, like the people in the bus he was driving."
"A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are watching a little boy play... The Priest says, ""I want to screw him."" The Rabbi says, ""Out of what?"""
"*saves dandruff for 7 years to throw as confetti at friends wedding that i never really liked*"
"I love Halloween because I can buy 9 bags of Snickers and everyone thinks I'm going to pass them out to kids."
"Clones are people two."
"Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation."
"Pregnant coworker with 3 children who always complains about money: When are YOU going to start having kids? Me: When are you going to stop?"
"I hate when my kids say ""But mom; it was an accident!"" So were you pumpkin, but I still have to take responsibility for you."