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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large!"

"I've decided to get rid of my vacuum cleaner... ...because it's as old and overused as this joke."

"That's great about your engagement, promotion and new car. I grabbed the EXACT amount of hangers I needed to put away laundry. Samsies!"

"Haven't put on a bra in like... 5 days. Being a dude is great"

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints!"

"Thinking about writing some erotic fan fiction about 90s bands Working title It's A shame About Grey"

"I broke up with my gym We were just not working out."

"I'm glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done"

"*running from cops* Me: hey wait hold up if we're gonna do this i really should be wearing my fitbit Cop: yeah me too good idea"

"""I like my women like i like my eggs...."" Whites only. (or millions of other one-word punchlines, depending on how dark you want to go.) ""Fertilized"" ""Beat"" ""Rotten"" ""xtra-large"""