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Joke of the Day

"Someone hit me in the head with a bottle of Omega-3 tablets the other day. Everything is OK; it was just a super fish oil wound."

"If you want your uninvited guests to leave, seat them comfortably in the basement, then go upstairs and watch TV."

"Mexican joke What do you call a Mexican without a car? Carlos"

"I have developed a truly marvellous demonstration of Fermat's last theorem ... which this post is too short to contain"

"I read a very good book about astronomy last week. It was stellar."

"Abortions are like stains in my carpet. You don't want them to be seen, and you pay somebody to vacuum them out."

"A Jewish man walks into a cafe in Canada and asks the waiter if they have any Canadian Jews ""I'm sorry,"" the waiter replied. ""We only have orange!"""

"Son, as a reward for graduating high-school at the top of your class, we've decided to pool or money and send you abroad! Son: Is she hot?"

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with Cheese"

"Two ninjas were having an argument Two ninjas were arguing over which one was the better ninja. The first says, ""Man, you can't even throw a ninja star."" The second ninja says, ""Shuriken."""