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Joke of the Day

"My favorite pick up line/joke. Yo homeboy!? How about you be my Sherlock and I'll take you Holmessss!! ;)"

"Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but.. Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike."

"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con"", then what's the opposite of ""progress""? ""Cliche jokes""."

"If I could make puppies and kittens magically appear, people would call me ""The Wizard of Awwws""."

"What's so great about nihilism? Nothing."

"""You'll never get the butt you want by sitting on the one you have."" -Maya Angelou"

"I am giving up a few negative people for lent. So, if you call, text, Facebook or email and I don't get to back to you?? Odds are it was you."

"When I die, I want my ashes scattered in front of the TV."

"Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A. Ground beef."

"Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two wongs don't make a white."