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Joke of the Day

"Why did Jim die from eating at an Italian restaurant? Because he asked for 'ebola spaghetti'"

"My little brother is extremely proud of this joke. What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights? An Insti-Gator"

"The abortion train just arrived at the station. ALL ABORT! *choo choo*"

"robber: give me the money! *points gun at cashier* cashier: wait thats just a blow dryer nervous snowman patron: please just do as he says!"

"2 Irish queers Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael."

"I'm in a room with Trump, Hillary and a gun and I'm allowed to legally shoot one of them. Whoever lives becomes president. Who do I shoot? Myself."

"An atheist, christian, and a scientologist walk into a bar. The atheist and christian then beat the ever living shit out of the scientologist for being so damn stupid."

"Why cant you play cards on a rowboat? Because you're sitting on the deck..."

"My daughter has an ice skating date with her boyfriend tonight. So I'll be the guy skating behind two 12 year olds carrying a shotgun."

"What does a Ferrari and poverty have in common? Princess Diana can't stop either"