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Joke of the Day

"What did the Momma buffalo say to the baby buffalo on his first day of school? Bye Son (Bison)"

"i thought i heard a dog approaching but it was just some hot girl's keys jingling. i fixed my hair for nothing"

"Her: What veggies are the kids having with dinner? Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes..."

"I'm scared of the toilet That's where shit goes down"

"Video Games made me do it. Rock n' Roll made me do it. Witches made me do it. Satan made me do it. - a short history of responsibility"

"HER [sits seductively on my lap] The more you tip...the more I'll take off ME [reaches for wallet] This is such a weird way to cut hair"

"I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig. Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep."

"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection... Judge says, First offender?' She says, No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'"

"What do you do when a horse breaks down? Call triple neighhh!"

"My mom told me not to kill the spider but to take it out... so I did, we had a few drinks, top lad he is..currently working as a web designer."