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Joke of the Day
"I took an IQ test. The results were negative."
Next Joke
"Lottery- Gilbert Gottfried A man comes home to his wife and says ""Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!"" She says ""What should I pack?"" He says ""I don't care just pack and get the fuck out!"""
"Life with me is like a box of chocolates. You never know when you're going to get the crazy one filled with arsenic."
"I used to do drugs... ...I still do, but I used to, too."
"Give a man a jacket And he'll be warm for the winter. Teach a man to jacket and he'll never leave the house."
"Not saying it's wet out there but the animals are lining up two by two."
"Did you hear the one about three Scotsmen who walk out of a bar? It could happen.."
"Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout Boy scouts come home from camp"
"After his wedding, Chuck Norris sent ""You're Welcome"" cards to all of his guests."
"[1st day as lifeguard] Guy: there's someone drowning in the water Me [not looking up from phone]: well it'd be hard to drown in the sand"