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Joke of the Day

"Samsung sold me the wrong phone. I bought the S7, but apparently they gave me the C4."

"People call me ""big"", ""dumb"", and ""stupid"", which confuses me because I'm actually not very big"

"Justin Bieber's to be the new face of Calvin Klein. Awful news given he does such a terrible job of being the current face of Justin Bieber."

"An American & Mexican are talking. American: ""Your Government needs to spy on your people, man. You guys have a drug problem."" Mexican: ""What drug problem? We get drugs pretty easily!"""

"Maybe 6% of pens work. Terrible job, pen manufacturers."

"What do you call a black gynecologist? A gynecologist, you racist bastard!"

"According to U.S. FDA standards, 1 cup of orange juice is allowed to contain 10 fruit fly eggs, but only 2 maggots."

"What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors? A reptile dysfunction"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking... JK Rowling"

"My wife asked me why I was walking around the house with a gun I responded, ""Because of those fucking decepticons!"" I laughed. She laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster."