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Joke of the Day

"Your mama is so fat that the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow"

"After reviewing my life, God may very well issue another 5 to 10 commandments. Sorry, guys."

"What's long and hard on a black guy? The first grade"

"My GPS is basically just one more man in my life who I turn on and then ignore."

"If you reply with ""sky"" each time I ask what's up, I shall assume you're homeless."

"Take it easy, guy who posts 10,000 pics of his baby on Facebook. We get it already. You got laid once."

"Why did the pet proctologist fear his first feline procedure? Because wether he succeeded or failed, he knew he'd end up with a cat-ass-trophy on his hands."

"The best time to leave the country is when a demonic voice screams your name from inside a locked basement"

"Ouija board......""your going to die!"" Me: you're*"

"I told my dad I didn't want to walk all the way there... ...He said: ""That's a lame excuse""."