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Joke of the Day

"Why does carpet never make a sound? It's the world's quietest pervert."

"What to you call a Russian flea ? A Moscow-ito !"

"I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups. Apparently, it's a very touchy subject."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Burns ! Burns who ? Burns me up !"

"Why is Santa Claus always a man? Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion."

"What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ? Bugs Bunny !"

"I ran into my dad earlier... Shitty driving must run in the family..."

"LINCOLN: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt. TWITTER: No."

"I saved a bunch on my car insurance by making the switch.. To reverse and driving away from the accident"

"You've got a buttload of good things coming your way... ...and I'm behind you one hundred percent."