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Joke of the Day

"Best/Worst Pick-Up Line ""My dick just died... Can I bury it in your ass?"""

"Did you hear about the Native American who tried to drink 200 cups of tea? He nearly drowned in his own tea pee"

"Not only is my new thesaurus terrible, But it's also terrible."

"It's confusing for me too, but I don't need your money so you're going to have to be a nice guy if this is going to work out."

"If a Tesla car gets stolen . . . would it be called an Edison?"

"You know what celebrity they should get for Dancing With the Stars? That plastic bag from American Beauty."

"Just like crime, slavery doesn't pay."

"A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night... And he gets crabs. So the next day, he goes back to complain. And the woman says, ""Hey, it was only $5. What did you expect, lobster?"""

"Just bit into a Pop Tart so hot that it caused me to involuntarily perform the falsetto ""ah-ha-ha-ha-"" intro to Stayin' Alive"

"What do you say to a girlfriend who calls you a lazy couch potato? Well let me tell you..."