105274
Joke of the Day
"Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes? Do they think they're gonna magically start walking?"
Next Joke
"I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down...... inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."
"The whole world loves the dairy-farmer Saudi Prince. He's brown-skinned, sweet, great with kids but drinks Old English 800 all day... ... but hey, everyone loves a chocolate malted milk sheik!"
"Almost done with my peanut butter & jelly sandwich and I now notice the bread is covered in mold, If you need me I'll be bathing in bleach."
"What do the final scene of titanic and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both could've fit the jack"
"If Ronald Reagan were alive today he would roll in his grave... roll, scream, kick and so would you if you woke up in a casket."
"""Do you have any children?"" Hannibal: ""Freezer. Bottom, right."""
"How to sleep: 1. Lay down 2. Dim lights 3. Dwell about literally every mistake you've made in your life for 6 hours 4. Rest for 9 minutes"
"Two ducks are arguing in a bar about quantum physics... One turns to the other and says, 'Quark Quark' The other says, I'll have a Harvey Schrodinger, thanks'."
"Met two guys named Andre coincidentally It was a real double ent""andre"""