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Joke of the Day

"How many radical, trans, love-fluid, non-binary persons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2 - one to do it and the other to comment on how it's symbolic of rape."

"Her: We have rats! Me: We do? Her: Look something gnawed thru this package of cookies! Me: (wipes crumbs from my mouth) I'll buy traps."

"I Want To Be Pampered! Actually, any brand will do."

"What is your favorite joke that's so bad it has become funny again?"

"Cinderella, but the Prince is searching for the maiden who matches the glass thigh gap."

"I believe in a woman's right to choose, except when it comes to picking what movie we should watch tonight."

"[interview] HIM: have u ever bribed anyone? ME: *pulls a package of OREO's from briefcase and slides across table* depends on who's asking"

"A mathematician walks into a bar and orders a drink. The punchline has been left as an exercise for the reader."

"What do rednecks do on Halloween? Pump-kin!"

"[ouija board] How are you feeling? *board begins spelling* O-O-E-Y--G-O-O-E-Y What the!? A cheesy board!? G-O-U-D-A--G-U-E-S-S"