10510

Joke of the Day

"A classic among my friends Knock knock. Who's there? Allah. Allah who? Allahu akbarrrrrrrrrr-"

"Ebola lingers in semen for nine months... I couldn't think of a decent punchline, but there's a winner out there for this headline for sure. . Highest voted comment wins the punchline."

"You ever lied so much on a resume, you're actually shocked that they gave you the job? I mean look at me, do I look like an astronaut?"

"Pen A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen!"""

"So I found out Viagra's pharmaceutical name. Mycoxafloppin"

"Can we survive without whales? No whey."

"A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex. Unfortunately the study was conducted by Bill Cosby."

"How do you get Martha Stewart to scream twice? Fuck her in the ass, then wipe your dick on the curtains."

"What religion still believes in the Big Bang? [x-post from /r/imgoingtohellforthis] Islam"

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Dogs don't lick jam... just kidding... they do ;)"