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Joke of the Day

"Hello 911 my son is a terrorist he won't eat AMERICAN cheese. Almost two. Yes I'll hold. Hello Child Protection Services my son is a terrori"

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"There's 3 types of people in the world. The ones that know how to count and the ones that don't."
"Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people."
"I robbed a cookery shop last night... to make it big you've got to take some whisks."
"Why weren't you at the Halloween party? My costume was a black father so I couldn't be there."
"Playing Counter-Strike at an Airport in Belgium ""Terrorists win."""
"I ordered a pair of shoes delivered to my house. I'm too excited to wait at home so I'm camping out at the end of my street. Send snacks?"
"What do you call inexplicably missing aioli? Awoli."
"No YOU sober up, lamp."
"Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead."