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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't burgers too good at basketball? Too many turnovers!"

"Sadly, at 8:11 PM Mark Jones was mispronounced dead. [at hospital] Doctor: I'm afraid this man has deed. Am I saying that right? He's deed."

"The church across the street opened a new Jesus-themed ferris wheel. Their accountant told me they needed it to turn a prophet."

"I don't drink so that I'm more fun to be around. I drink so that you're more fun to be around."

"A kid was born without eye lids, so they used the spare skin from his circumcision to form some. Everything turned out fine, except... the doctor said he was a little cockeyed."

"My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. . . My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"""

"What did the CIA dogs say when they supsected they were being followed? Looks like we got a tail."

"FREE NUDE SHOW: Walk into a women's tanning salon and yell ""FIRE!"""

"How did the set react when it heard about the Russell Paradox? It couldn't contain itself."

"Why did the Priest go to Walmart? Because the little boys pants were half off."