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Joke of the Day
"I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer."
Next Joke
"Took a career aptitude test. My results: sports team mascot, bridge troll, sign twirler, petting zoo shit shoveler"
"My grandfather got new pants the other day. I asked him how they fit... He said ""Like a cheap castle."" Seeing the confused look on my face, he elaborated, saying, ""No ball room."""
"A child is being pushed around in a pink toy convertible while eating a chocolate frosted donut, and I want to ask her how she got this job."
"I once asked a Welshman how many sexual partners he had had in his life but never got an answer. He kept falling asleep whilst counting sheep."
"I run a gambling ring where we throw humidifiers and dehumidifiers into a pit and let 'em fight that shit out."
"What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and a tub of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna."
"If we can't hit our kids, what's next? A society slowly becoming less violent as we learn more about child development and human psychology?"
"Just watched a woman put on her sunglasses before walking into a restaurant, in case you wondered what living in LA is like."
"Why did the gay choir boy die? He choked on his last hymn."