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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? Because it was a noble gas"

"What's it called when a cow kills itself? Mooicide ...Okay, fine, I'll leave..."

"is there a sadder metaphor of ur adulthood destroying ur childhood than the fact that to get to work evryday u hav to burn up dead dinosaurs"

"Why do they call it a ""waist""? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits down there."

"If you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream!"

"As a kid, I was always scared of the dentist. He was a pedophile. You wouldn't believe the fillings he gave me."

"Walter White should get a monument & every healthcare exec should receive the sentence for his crimes. They made him."

"I just burped and fogged my glasses up. Line forms to the left ladies."

"You think you're hardcore? Watch THIS! *Drinks vodka straight from the potato*"

"I told this girl that I was an architect. It's true in a way, since I now have to design an intricate web of lies to back it up."