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Joke of the Day
"What do tampons and white women have in common? They are both stuck up cunts."
Next Joke
"Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car."
"So U.S. Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia died today while on a hunting trip... ...he must have gone with Dick Cheney."
"Why did I break up with my spare change? It was too clingy"
"I'm officially putting my GPA up for adoption... I just can't raise it myself [joke credit to the girl I overheard say it in the library] Edit: apparently its from yikyak?"
"Why is Lorde named thusly? She isn't named thusly, she's named Lorde."
"Lindsay Lohan's personal chef is just a pinata full of cocaine."
"*wife phones* ""Hi!"" ""Hi! Did you clean the house?"" ""Uhh...YUP!"" ""OK, I'm coming home. Need anything?"" ""Yes, about 2 hours."""
"What does Hitler do on a windy day? He flies a kike."
"What do gay Asian men do in the bedroom? They Bangkok"