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Joke of the Day
"I've only been eating 6 spiders instead of 8 every year so I'll have plenty for retirement."
Next Joke
"To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office... I will find you. You have my Word."
"How to determine what party to vote for: 1) Calculate income 2) Divide by number of dependents 3) Subtract age 4) Download Game of War"
"if you're in a sports bar but don't understand sports just keep repeating the phrase ""damn they gotta get him the ball."" everyone will agree"
"If Wednesday is hump day... Would that make Tuesday foreplay day?"
"Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a ""Who has more testicles?"" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5."
"SON: *first word* momma. MOM: DID YOU HEAR THAT? ME: *distracted by the faint song of an ice cream truck* He never comes down our street."
"Statistically... 9/10 people enjoy gang rape"
"Lindt Chocolate are to make a new Chocolate bar to commemorate the terrorist attack on its cafe in Sydney It will be called allahu akBAR"
"How do you congratulate a Jewish bodybuilder? Muscle Tov!"