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Joke of the Day

"What is green and smells like pork? Kermit The Frog's finger."

"Did you hear about the baker's son? He was in-bred."

"My friend said he didn't mind homosexuality, just didn't like it in his bedroom. I asked, ""have you tried the kitchen?"""

"[NSFW] A baby was born with no eye lids. . So they used the skin from his circumcision to make them. They said he'll be alright, just a little cockeyed."

"My sexual orientation is definitely Landscape. I dabbled with Portrait but my legs got tired."

"I went to the gym and asked the guy there to teach me how to do the splits..... He said 'how flexible are you?' I said 'I can't do Thursdays.' Credit: Tommy Cooper"

"""I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat"" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook."

"Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder..."

"Why are they called overalls when you can still see arms and the head? That shit ain't over all. Those are oversomes and whatnot."

"What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Hypothermia"