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Joke of the Day

"My local gadget store has a great deal on devices that measure electric charge, but it's too far to walk. It's a coulomb meter."

Next Joke
 
"Of course I swallow it's a basic function of eating. What kind of job interview is this anyway and why are there multiple cameras"
"Just met a guy.Omg he was so fit! Just met a guy.Omg he was so fit. Handsome even. Never will I met a guy like him again. Caring. Emotional. Nice. And his name was the first letter of each sentence"
"Ever have to pee SO bad that you're surprised that what comes out isn't mostly blood?"
"They say don't drop the soap, they are right. You will slip on it and fall, I have first hand knowledge. Don't worry I'm fine, only a little drain bamage."
"Bruce Willis is relaxing by his pool. he's got so much sunscreen on that he slowly slides off his lounger, out of the gate & down the road"
"My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule."
"Why are female golfers better than male golfers? Because they swing both ways"
"Did you hear about the latest thing affected by recession? My hairline!"
"MOM: Any plans tonight? ME: Me and the guys heading out to find us some ladees *shoots finger guns HER: So Pokemon Go with Gary? M: Yessss"