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Joke of the Day

"A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking. Didn't I see you on a TV commercial? How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?"

"Carl was annoying Carl walked into a street shop. the first thing he did was cough very loudly. e b 9"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Whithers."

"""...and it looks like you spent $80,000 on alcohol this year?"" - my tax guy"

"If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like ""oh yeah this makes sense."""

"Don't have unprotected phone sex. You might get hearing AIDS"

"What makes an octopus laugh? ten-tickles"

"Why are the saxophone afraid of the trombone? Because the trombone is a sax offender."

"Why doesn't Angelina Jolie like peaches? Because of the ""Pit"""

"I remember the face of every person who doesn't say ""thank you"" when I hold open the door for them."