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Joke of the Day

"Absence makes the heart want to fondle other people"

"Did you hear about the race between the two decapitated heads? I heard they were neck and neck"

"Exposing kids to violent video games is appalling. They should be in church praying to a bloody statue of a man nailed to a cross in agony."

"Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!"

"Gay Bartender What did the gay bartender say to his new customer? ""Want me to help push in your stool?"""

"why don't programmers like nature? because it has too many bugs"

"Why did my Exotic Bird Startup Store fail? I didn't have enough seed money."

"Women are like parking spaces.... All the good ones are gone, so every now and then when no one is looking, you stick it in a disabled one."

"Emotions are like farts... You can only hold them in for so long."

"What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law? Haram Bay"