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Joke of the Day

"What do you call something that's impossible due to physics? Physics-ly impossible. There's your dad joke for the day."

"What does your mother's face and a Pillar and have in common? They're both load-bearing"

"Do you call a senior citizen bride's pre-wedding party... A golden shower?"

"Two Muslims are on a frozen lake not talking to each other... I thought I would go over there and break the ice."

"An English professor sees a gorgeous blond at a party . . . ""Pardon me,"" he says, ""but do you enjoy Kipling?"" ""Gee, I don't know,"" says the blond. ""I've never kippled before."""

"Not to brag, but a news anchor started following me today. She recognizes a disaster when she sees one."

"Being a suicide bolder sounds like a blast"

"I want to get stoned like I cheated on my Iranian husband."

"Cop: Ma'am, Are you intoxicated? Me: Are YOU intoxicated! Cop: No Me: Prove it! Cop: *puts handcuffs on me* Me: I like where this is going."

"Trust but verify."