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Joke of the Day

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."

"Welcome, take off your pants ...and jacket."

"Did you hear about the silent performer that got sent to jail? He was sodomimed"

"Women are always complaining that I make too many 'dick' jokes but I don't understand why. I mean, that's the only part of me guaranteed to make them laugh."

"My dad put snowballs in the blender I miss snowballs he was a great cat"

"Why didn't the skeleton make a good lawyer? All his work was pro bono."

"Twitter is considering a 10,000-character limit for tweets. Well, there goes the neighborhood."

"goals for 2016: 1) spend more time with my son 2) learn about his fav video games 3) defeat him 4) become video game household champion"

"Here's a funny joke... Civil Forfeiture."

"[quietly tries to open a can of beer] driving instructor: what was that"