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Joke of the Day

"Adele is an amazing singer. The problem is, when one of her songs comes on, everyone else thinks they are, too"

"A wizard cursed my land yesterday. Now that's an evil plot!"

"A stock market crash is worse than a divorce. You lose half your money and your wife is still around."

"I like you but not save your life before a dog's life like you."

"My deity ignored my prayers today. The sacrifice was a disaster. First, I didn't have the correct incantation, and then the goat knocked over the candles. I guess two wrongs don't make a rite."

"Did I ever tell you about the worst blowjob I ever had? It was FANTASTIC."

"Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up."

"What's the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't jelly my cock up your ass"

"Girl asked me if I wanted to watch a ""romcom"" so I'm going to assume she means ""Roman Combat"" and put on Gladiator."

"What was the stressed out toddler diagnosed with? Diapertension"