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Joke of the Day
"If everyday is a gift, I want to know where I can return Mondays."
Next Joke
"What do you call a fat person with Tally marks on their stomach? A tally tubby."
"I'm not saying your mom is fat but she'd be worth a lot more in the UK"
"One time I told my blind Nana to go on a seafood diet... She died a week later."
"After years of courting her , she finally said yes Followed by 'thats him, officer'"
"Hipster: Check out my mini.. Me: *snatches and eats Hipster:.. Bonsai tree Me: *swallows* It's alright for a veggie Hipster: Me: anymore?"
"""If I could have dinner with any person, dead or alive... ..I would choose alive."" -BJ Novak-"
"they smoked a joint and overthrew the government. now that's a high coup"
"4:*calls thing wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*repeats wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*maintains eye contact and repeats wrong name slowly"
"Some people are flirting with my delete & block button."