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Joke of the Day

"What do the Patriots and Measles have in common? They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something."

"Do you wanna build a snowman? Come on, let's go and play!"

"An Irish man walks on the street and ignores a bar... Muahahaha, like that's possible!"

"A man took his family to the zoo The only animal in the zoo was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu."

"After a rough night, I woke up one morning and thought I should join Alcoholics Anonymous... I changed my mind though, because I am NOT a quitter."

"I think my optometrist is falling in love with me... Every time I leave his office he hands me a sample of contact solution and says, ""Eye care for you"""

"What do you call five blondes in a pool? Air bubbles."

"Why wont Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it? Because it's too cubed!"

"Got a booty text from my ex-husband so I did the logical thing and forwarded it to his new girlfriend."

"*wants space* *eats Milky Way*"