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Joke of the Day

"3. That's how many times you have to ask someone if they're grumpy before they get grumpy."

"My brother got kicked out of his house by his wife for measuring his penis. For the record, it reaches the back of her sister's throat."

"What's Satan's main social media site? Pentagram"

"Santa accidentally ran over a man. The poor fellow was sleigh-n."

"What is a chronic masturbator's favorite dish? Meat stroganoff"

"What's the cheapest present for an ophan? A tattoo with dad"

"Hi I'm an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door."

"Do you know what Pinocchio and your dad have in common? They were both inside a whale."

"doctor: ""how much exercise do you do per week?"" me: ""um.. does sex count? doctor: ""yes"" me: ""absolutely none"""

"Why is Light Beer like sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water"