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Joke of the Day

"If we could harness the fake enthusiasm put towards wishing people a happy birthday on Facebook, we could power half the planet."

"Why didn't rail Castro want to be President of Cuba? He didn't want to play second fidel"

"There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts."

"What did the bird say when he flew over K-Mart? Caw Caw why'd my natural habitat get replaced with 165 000 square feet of consumerist wasteland lol"

"I was the beast man at my sister's wedding, and there isn't a day goes by that I don't wish that that was a typo."

"Why don't black cops shoot unarmed white kids? Because they'd get in trouble."

"Pessimist : The glass is half empty Optimist : The glass is half full Feminist : The glass is being raped"

"Black Betty walked into a butcher shop and asked for beef. The butcher replied, ""No Black Betty, Ham or Lamb?"""

"A haiku to my boss who asked me to work this weekend: Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha no"

"if a pea-brain is someone with a small brain, then a peacock is someone with a ...? no?"