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Joke of the Day

"I thought I saw an octopus but it was just 8 eels kissing a butternut squash."

"Black magic is just like regular magic, but with bigger wands."

"I bought a new sex doll... it's so realistic she doesn't wanna have sex with me."

"What did Barack say to Michele when he asked her to marry him? I don't wanna be Obama self."

"Go deep throat a cactus."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday... one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off"

"""Mom look! It's a toy blue-tooth!""(cereal prize in Doucheberries Crunch)"

"Did you know NASA 30 years ago made a new space drink? Ocean Spray - It was their second choice because they couldn't get 7-UP."

"Look grandma. You told me to bring something to the wake. If you meant a casserole, you should have said so. Now help me load this drum kit."

"Why was the Egyptian boy confused? Because his daddy was a mummy"