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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow with only legs on one side? Lean Beef."

"Do you think Bradley Cooper will call his kids Mini Coopers cause I hope so."

"[My band playing on stage] New GF's friend: Which one is the boy you've been seeing? New GF: *sees me playing accordion* He died"

"""Wow, you're tall.. Do you play basketball?"" ""Wow, you're short. Do you play mini golf?"""

"I drank so much wine last night when i walked across the dance floor to get another glass, i won the dance competition."

"What's the difference between democracy and feudalism? Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism? A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes."

"Teacher: How Old is your father? Pappu: As old as I am. Master: How is it possible? Pappu: He became father only after I was born."

"What's the difference between a sperm and a Young Republican / Young Conservative A sperm has at least a 1 in 100 million chance of becoming a human being"

"What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head? I blame my shelf"

"Twitter is kinda like my diary except I don't use a glitter gel pen or tell you guys how much I miss Josh."