230401

Joke of the Day

"Twitter is kinda like my diary except I don't use a glitter gel pen or tell you guys how much I miss Josh."

"This morning I was wondering why the sun wasn't rising... And then it dawned on me"

"The best thing to do with Christmas lights that don't work is put them back in the attic so they can frustrate you again next year."

"What do you call an Eagle who can't catch it's prey? *Talon*tless. ...Sorry."

"How do you say Tony Romo in Spanish?(X-post r/nfl) Mark Sanchez."

"What is Chuck Liddell's favorite fruit? The Grapple..."

"*Pearly Gates St. Peter: No way! Me as angel: It's the rules! SP: But the drugs and sweari- M: ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN! Snoop: Fo' Shizzle."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? (NSFW) To suck the cock"

"I swallowed a Watch the other day... Now I'm just trying to pass the time."

"I'm going to get crucified for this joke, but here goes... I am the son of God"